Life is challenging when you have aspirations and ideals. Well, not really. My ideals were always to make things easy and stress-free. My goal is to read fantasy romance novels and dream of the prince charming who will never come because they are too unrealistic to even imagine.
I want to preserve my freedom. If I were to find a prince charming on a silver platter, I would simply swoon and say “no, thanks.”
But in my mind’s eye, I would envision a complete love story and capitalize on the fantasy and romance genres.
– “Hey, Mom, I’m home!”
– “Oh! Welcome back, Iris. Take a shower. Food’s nearly ready.”
Well, that. But also, what prince charming would ever consider a modern, chubby, poor, part-time employee who lives with her folks?
– “Hey Dad, what’s cooking? It smells great!”
– “Wait until you taste it before you praise me, I’m doing your old fave, but I might have discovered a new way to poison us all.”
This is usually the place where an artist would pixellate something that ultimately looks totally unappetizing. To be honest, my parents are excellent cooks. They have their strengths and weaknesses, and presentation is certainly not their strongest suit.
In my family, we have a term called “gruff,” which originated from gruesome food, to describe something that appears repulsive while being incredibly delicious and nutritious.
There are a few other terms we’ve coined to describe unique gruffs: the “splate” which looks like a poorly indistinct cream of wheat splattered on a plate; the “whiffer,” which surpasses even the worst Limburger, durian and raw onion fish casserole; the “livalad,” a salad that gradually loses its consistency, making it appear to move and contort, while it actually is a very fresh salad on a hot plate; or the “colourful” which showcases something that should never be such an interesting tint without being lethal.
There are many more like that.
Suffice to say, the few friends I ever had never truly dined at my place. Again, food is amazing, but for someone who hasn’t been exposed to these unique choices since their toddlerhood, it’s challenging to understand that we mean no harm. When someone visits us, it’s typically takeout days, lest they mistake our place for that verse in Rapper’s Delight.
– “Oh, you want to kill us with kindness once more? Thanks for the Korean-Jamaican Maple Syrup Stew in a Pita Roll. You know it’s the best, right? I can’t wait to try it!”
– “Had to make it, you love it so much, and I just made a fresh batch of homemade cottage cheese to go with the roll, just like you like it. But this time, I added some popped mustard seeds.”
I squealed with delight and kissed my dad on the cheek before rushing off to take my shower.
Oh, here’s another reason why Prince Charming wouldn’t be interested in me. This food would make everyone else uncomfortable, and to be honest, I’m not interested in marrying Shrek. In fact, I’m not interested in marrying anyone.
My family is the best.
We’re loving, caring, and friendly. We’re a bit eccentric, but at the end of the day, we support each other. We may not be wealthy, we live simply in a small apartment and use old-fashioned cell phones. I’ve learned to see the world through rose-tinted glasses and I radiate happiness from my family, which I’m truly grateful for.
My family’s genes are also quite good. My mom is a strong woodworker and metallurgist, and my dad is a tall postman. We have a strong stomach and rarely get sick. Thankfully, we don’t see many other people, so it helps to keep a distance.
I’d love to say I am a strong woman, as when I was younger, I was quite active and strong.
However, I once bent my ankle. This is when my life changed.
❀
– “Thanks, Lou, for coming, but you know, I’ll be up soon, no harm done! Well, nearly no harm done,” I giggled.
– “Oh, don’t worry, ’Is, you’re my bestie. I’d be here for you, no matter what.”
– “True… true… I’m bored! Doc said I shouldn’t exercise for now, so, couch it is for me!”
– “That sucks! I wanted to go grab an ice cone at Wish…”
– “Not this time, I guess… Argh! It’s so annoying! Guess I can brush off my school stuff.”
– “Oh, please, it’s a long weekend, and we’ve already done everything. We did it all yesterday evening so we could enjoy it. No bike either? Roller’s not an option for sure, and our weekly footie is…”
– “Seriously? Are you my friend? Come here so I can kill you,” I laughed.
We both pretended to fight each other while laughing for a while. However, boredom returned with a fierce intensity.
– “Hey, ’Is, have you ever read light novels?”
– “Oh, please, that’s so dumb! Losing time while reading things to get your blood pumping. Oh, my prince charming! Oh, can you come and get me!”
– “No, no, no, seriously, there are many styles. Try a few, and see what you like.”
– “You?”, I was truly flabbergasted. “You read that?!”
– “Once in a while, yeah, my mind stops working overtime while I read the stories, and there are so many styles. There’s nothing to be ashamed of! If they’re successful, artists may even take up the challenge.”
– “Oh come on, I’ll never try that.”
Of course, I picked up on the hints. You know how sometimes it feels like you’re doing something you shouldn’t, like buying something that’s way out of your budget or indulging in something you know will cost you? Well, that’s exactly what happened when I started reading these books.
At first, I felt a pang of guilt and a sense of knowing that I shouldn’t be doing it. But then, curiosity turned to interest, then to passion, and finally to obsession.
As a result, I stopped exercising.
Even though I’m quite tall, I gained some curves from eating healthily while getting lost in the latest novels. I’ve also stopped following my dad on his morning runs and stopped having any interest in lifting heavy benches or moving outdoor tables at my mom’s work. However, I still help Mom design her patterns.
In school, I used to be the most active before that small accident. I loved running, climbing, and playing casual rugby with my friends, much to the amusement and concern of my parents. Since then, I’ve shifted my focus from sports to a more general literary concentration, and eventually became the secretary I am today.
Despite my friends and family’s persistent suggestions for a healthier lifestyle, I prefer to indulge in my dream world. Fortunately, everyone supports my choices, no one goes out of their way to convince me.
And now, let’s put the reminiscing behind us. Let’s go eat!
